What is Spiritual Bypassing?

It starts with good intentions.

A person may begin a meditation practice, latch onto a life coach on Instagram or buy a ton of self-help books. But no number of self-help podcasts seem to address the issue. One just leads to another. Instead of using spiritual practices to address difficult inner experiences, some people use them to side-step the parts of themselves that need addressed.

That’s when it’s time to discuss spiritual bypassing.

Spiritual bypassing is the act of avoiding or repressing important emotional or developmental tasks using a spiritual practice.

Here are some examples.

“Everything is Okay.”

We all know the person who pretends that everything is fine when it’s clearly not. Sometimes, that person might be us. This form of bypassing is often a way to avoid a difficult emotion or social interaction. In relationships, this may put the responsibility for a difficulty on another person as a way of avoiding accountability for one’s own dysfunction.

Over-Emphasising the Positive

It can be helpful to be optimistic. However, in order to develop beyond the negative aspects of our lives such as our insecurities or our inner critics, we need to face these problems head on. If we don’t, negative issues can persist without our awareness. They even become more impactful if left unaddressed.

Self-Rightousness

This is the person who “one-ups” others when it comes to holiness or enlightenment. They may act as if they have access to a secret that others don’t. They may be strict, idealistic or fundamentalist in their beliefs. While acting as if they are spiritually detached, their inner issues eventually build up and explode in fits of anger.

Pourous Boundaries

A person who acts overly compassionate in an attempt to embody an enlightened or compassionate position may struggle to say “no” or set boundaries with others, leading to burnout and anger.

Struggling with the Here and Now

Some people cling to the spiritual realm as a way of avoiding life. They may emphasize life after death or eternity. They may use alternative time-frames or belief structures to escape their present reality.

Okay, that’s me. Now what?

Here’s the good news. We all engage in spiritual bypassing. In my work, we start by looking at ourselves rather than pointing the finger at others. Once we stop using spirituality to avoid, we can begin looking inside ourselves to confront issues that need addressed. Often, this leads to a deepening relationship to one’s spirituality.